


Tragic, Magic Love

by irondad1spiderson1andloki (orphan_account)



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Birds, Canonical Character Death, Crying, First Kiss, First Love, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, Gay Richie Tozier, Gay Stanley Uris, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Internalized Homophobia, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, M/M, Self-Acceptance, Soft Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 20:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21082637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/irondad1spiderson1andloki
Summary: I'm sorry, Richie.





	Tragic, Magic Love

Their feet moved in sync, footsteps echoing off the stones they walked upon. Stanley's face was lit up with a bright grin, at peace with the dreary environment around him.

Richie kept turning his head nervously to stare into the dark shadows of the surrounding forest, but being here, with Stan, felt safe. It wasn't a place they'd been before. Yet...somehow it felt familiar to him. 

The way the drops of water fell from the trees and tapped onto the ground, the soft running of creek water, distant car wheels driving. It all came together like happy, hopeful symphonies in Richie's head. 

"I'm glad we got to hang out just us," Richie commented, keeping his voice low to avoid disturbing the quiet. His face lit up with embarrassment. "I mean, hanging out with the other guys is fun, too! I just mean...um...yeah. You know."

Stanley chuckled quietly, his cheeks lighting up a pale red and shedding light on the dusting of freckles along his nose and cheekbones. "Me too."

Richie smiled.

They continued walking in comfortable silence, but Richie's heart was pounding. He shouldn't be feeling like this, he told himself, this is wrong. But Stan's body near his felt right. 

He wanted to run his fingers over Stan's knuckles and through his hair, press his lips to every inch of skin, look at him the way his body wanted to. But it stayed inside him, ticking louder and louder like a bomb about to go off.

_His secret._

Stan looked up with awe in his shining eyes, grinning at a bird on a low hanging tree branch. Richie had never seen what was so special about birds until that moment, with the way Stan looked up at it with so much joy. Suddenly. They were the most precious creature Richie had ever seen.

"It's a gray catbird," Stan whispered excitedly, turning his head briefly to glance at Richie, "They're so pretty."

Stan leaned to get a closer look, his hand brushing against Richie's, and suddenly Richie was on fire. 

_No, no, no. _

He turned, capturing Stan's soft cheeks in his hands and placed his lips on his. It was messy, and inexperienced, and quick, and nervous...but for Richie it was the start of a whole new world of color.

He pulled away, breathing heavy. His heart was beating so fast it hurt. Stan blinked, obviously shocked. Then...his eyes began to glow with that same innocent, happy energy that Richie had grown to love so much. His lips pulled into a smile, and Richie breathed out a sigh of relief as he hugged him.

Stan's arms hugged Richie back tightly. "Is this wrong?" Richie asked shakily, "Feeling like this?"

Stan didn't hesitate as he shook his head. "You're too good to do anything that's wrong."

The words pulled a sob from the deepest depths of Richie's soul, pulling the pain that he had buried so deep down right out of him in a single sentence. All Stan did was hold him, listening to the catbirds sing and watching the orange glow of fireflies.

\---------------------------------------

When they parted to leave Derry in search of better opportunities and acceptance, it was a bittersweet end. 

"This is for the best," Richie said, his forehead pressed against Stan's in his driveway. 

"I know."

"I'll always love you. I'll never forget you."

"Me either, trashmouth."

Time passed, and the feelings slowly faded and faded until they disappeared from heart and disappeared from memory.

The days passed slower, but neither of them knew why.

\----------------------------------------

Richie's mouth opened in horrified shock.

When he had remembered Stan, every single memory had rushed back full force. Every kiss, every hug, every late night phone conversation, every bike ride.

The feelings. The love, the hope.

Now it was torn to shreds.

Stanley was _dead_.

All of the losers were absolutely devastated, but none even close to what Richie felt.

After defeating It, Richie felt like his life had lost every purpose. He'd lost everything. He'd lost so much time and now he'd lost the thing he had always missed but never remembered.

He hated that he had no idea what Stan's life had been like after they'd parted. He hated that even now, some things were still fuzzy in his clouded head.

He hated the stupid slab of polished stone in front of him. "Stanley Uris" was carved into it. It all seemed too pristine. Nobody could have possibly cared like he had, he wanted to think.

But he knew that must be wrong. Stanley had moved on, like he had.

That wasn't his fault.

Richie carefully knelt before the gravestone, rereading the words over and over like he might will them into nonexistence. 

"I'll miss you, Stanny."

As soon as he uttered the words, a sob all too similar to the first fell from his chapped lips. It was all too much on his heart.

"I hope you're happy," Richie paused. "Wherever you are."

Richie sniffled, running his fingers over the letters of Stan's name. "Back then, I would have been sure you dying would have killed me," Richie laughed with no amusement, "It kind of feels like it did."

"I'm sort of desperate lately...if I'm honest. I've even started praying," He shook his head to himself. He wondered deep down if Stan would have still loved him now if he hadn't...passed.

"I have so many demons in my dreams now but they all look like you," Richie sobbed. "They just haunt me."

No matter how much Richie talked and talked, sobbed and begged, Stanley didn't return.

"Goodbye, Stan." Richie kissed his shaking fingers and pressed them to the stone, then letting them slide down in one last desperate attempt to just _stay_.

That night, when Richie went home.

He bought a bird.


End file.
